National Adoption Month Guest Post
I learn so much observing the adoption journeys of those around me. The different perspectives cause my faith to grow as I spend more time in prayer and hope to be an encouragement. Today’s guest blog post is from my sister-in-Christ Naomi Quick of Living Out 127. Read on to hear Naomi’s insight regarding the healing we need to come from Christ prior to adoption.
Embrace God’s Healing
One of the most critical things to address, prior to adoption, is the prospective parents’ own healing. As parents, it is our privilege and responsibility to walk through healing with our children. To be able to do this effectively, we must first embrace God’s healing for our own hearts.
Children who come into a family through adoption have experienced great loss. Age is not an indicator, as even an infant has experienced the traumatic removal from their birth family. This loss is often coupled with trauma; whether due to abuse, neglect, or in utero exposure to substances or chronic stress. Every child who is adopted will have loss, and will need to grieve and heal.
Navigating the journey of healing must begin before we ever bring our child home! Thankfully, we have hope in Jesus – and His unfailing love. We can come to Him, acknowledging areas of loss, trauma, abuse, and rejection in our own lives. We can bring those hurts to the foot of the cross, and find the hope of healing.
In Isaiah 58, we read about fasting that is honorable before God. The chapter opens with ways we often fast, or come before God. False humility, pride, and in our own way, seeking healing for the hurt in our hearts. But His way is higher – and He calls us upward, towards holiness.
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.”
When we walk in accord with His Word, and come before Him in humility and obedience, His Word is clear:
The Lord will guide you always;
He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
In verses 8 and 11 we see God moving swiftly to bring healing, and establish us firmly in Him. It is out of this place of being a well-watered garden that we can walk through healing with our children! It is out of the place of being like a spring whose waters never fail, that we can give compassion and grace when it is needed. It is out of this place of knowing how to come before our God, and allow Him to heal and fill us, that we can be conduits of that healing and abundance to our children.
As you consider pursuing adoption, ask yourself these questions:
- Is there any loss I need to grieve? The loss of a loved one, or a dream?
- Do I need to work through trauma I have experienced?
- Is there any past abuse I need to process?
- Are there any areas of unforgiveness I need to address?
- Do I struggle with insecurity or rejection?
If the answer is yes to any of these, it does not disqualify you! It makes you a real person! Take a moment to pray about your ‘yeses,’ and ask God what you need to do. Perhaps you need to acknowledge an area of struggle, or talk with a close loved one about how you’re feeling. Maybe you need to see a trusted counselor, as you walk through this healing, with Jesus by your side.
You don’t have to be pain or issue free to pursue adoption! But you do have to be aware of your own hurts, and be working through them. Often times, the pain of our children has a way of bringing up pain from deep within our hearts. By being proactive in seeking the hope of healing from Jesus, we can be the parents God intends for our children! We can use our experience of God’s healing as a catalyst for compassion, instead of allowing our child’s trauma to trigger our own.
Have you considered adoption?
Is there an area of hurt or struggle we can join you in praying about?
What advice would you give a prospective adoptive parent for finding healing through Jesus?
About the Author
Naomi loves Jesus. She is married to her best friend, John. They have six amazing, beautiful kids, two of whom have been adopted from the foster care system. Naomi homeschools their tribe of world changers. She is a type-A, list-making, change-fearing girl living an adventure that demands flexibility, spontaneity, and constant change! Through her words, she prays you’ll find something that points your heart to the Dream Giver and the Author of each of our stories – Jesus.
Naomi is the author of Don’t Waste Your Wait: Embracing the Journey of Bringing Your Child Home. She writes over at her site, Living Out 127, and has done a number of speaking engagements and trainings for prospective and current adoptive and foster families.
SINCERELY ANCHORED’S MISSION IS TO ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO LIVE AUTHENTICALLY WITH HOPE.
THANK YOU, Naomi, FOR LIVING THAT MISSION!
To learn more about Sincerely Anchored, click here!
To read another National Adoption Month post, click here!